FROM THE DESK OF JON RALPH
As Channel Nine’s TV tribute to the late, great Bert Newton played out on Sunday night, the memories came flooding back. Bert? Well, he was one of a kind whether blessed with whip-smart dialogue or finding side-splitting comedy from an infomercial about cleaning products.
But Newton’s schtick with his sidekick Don Lane underlined how good we Redzone-loving Monday-sleep-deprived NFL-tragic sports fans have it these days. American TV host Lane, of course, was Australia’s chief spruiker for the NFL in decades past across ABC and Channel Nine, with fans having to wait until Monday nights for a highlights package of games that were literally a week old.
What did we have to look forward to on NFL Super Bowl day?
A four-hour package with Lane in front of an ABC studio audience patiently explaining the rules to the non-believers in one of the few live “gridiron” games that were actually broadcast.
What do we have to look forward to on February 13 2022, after an 18-month pandemic that robbed most fans of the chance of a pilgrimage to Super Bowl 55 in Tampa Bay?
Let me count the ways Super Bowl LVI will be one of the most epic in recent memory for those of us lucky to snaffle a ticket.
Remember that thing called overseas travel?
Its unrestricted return this week in Australia coincides with a Super Bowl in one of the world’s great party cities of Los Angeles just as America will be easing out of the two-year pandemic.
I have a soft spot for the old LA Coliseum after a perfect spring afternoon spent on the Coors Lites watching the Rams beat Seattle, but the venue this time is the new $5.5 billion SoFi Stadium, the most expensive stadium in the world. The 70,000 seat stadium boasts every technological advancement and a 120-yard long scoreboard as well as 70,000 seats.
And who will be playing?
Well that’s where it gets downright fascinating, after eight weeks of NFL action in a newly expanded 17-match season that to be honest has been batshit crazy from the outset.
It could be Patrick Mahomes and his Kansas City Chiefs, but they would have to defy a disastrous 3-4 start that sees the freakishly talented Mahomes lead the NFL in intercepts and Andy Reid’s defence resembling Fitzroy in their dying years in the AFL.
On the Monday night game only just finished this afternoon, Mahomes boasted home ground advantage against a 2-5 New York Giants team, with the teams locked 17-all and only three minutes on the clock when Mahomes threw yet another interception.
It was waved off by a defensive penalty, Mahomes settled for a field goal and Kansas City’s defence held up for the stop that took the Chiefs to a 4-4 win loss record in a 20-17 victory.
But anyone who says the Chiefs can win their second Super Bowl with Mahomes are doing so on blind faith.
It could be Tommy…
Let’s face it, it will probably be Tom Brady chasing a ridiculous eighth Super Bowl ring, but on Monday he stunk it up big time with a three-pick loss against a New Orleans team playing with backup quarterback Trevor Siemian after Jameis Winston’s ACL tear.
It might be Green Bay, whose three-time MVP quarterback Aaron Rogers spent the entire off-season desperately attempting to get out of the joint and the first eight weeks pushing his MVP claims again in a 7-1 season start.
Rogers is the ultimate gun-slinging quarterback who thrills Green Bay fans with his on-field exploits, put in a spectacular bid to be America’s Jeopardy game show host, and yet he definitely still needs another Super Bowl ring to round out a resume with only a single title.
In the NFC West it could be the LA Rams on their home turf or the Arizona Cardinals given equal 7-1 win-loss records ahead of San Francisco and Seattle.
The Rams are taking care of business after an off-season heist that saw them swapping QB Jarrod Goff for Matt Stafford (who was the only reason to watch the Detroit Lions), with Stafford lighting up the offence and turning handy slot receiver Cooper Kupp into the NFL receiving yards leader with 809 from seven games.
NFL experts will tell you why Arizona are so good, but bottom line, they are a hell of a lot of fun to watch.
Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray is equally adept charging up the field or in the pocket and after Arizona added star wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins last season, this year the Cardinals doubled down with Cincinnati wide receiver AJ Green.
His failure to pick up a Murray audible cost Arizona this week’s game against Green Bay in a 24-21 cracker, Murray’s pass instead found Packers cornerback Rasul Douglas.
But with the Cardinals also adding quality Philadelphia tight end Zach Ertz in a mid-season trade, they have only a single loss and will be there deep into the playoffs.
Tennessee is three games clear in the AFC South and can win the Super Bowl with NFL rushing champion Derek Henry in full flight yet were dealt the hammer blow of a foot injury to their brilliant star.
He could be out for anywhere between six and 12 weeks, so after a 2020 season where Henry was one of only eight players across history to rush for 2000 yards Tennessee’s fortunes will rise and fall on the recovery of his damaged metatarsal.
For all the talk about gunslingers and risky business in the NFL, the 32 head coaches have mostly been risk-averse over the decades.
Yet one of the most welcome features of this season has been those coaches rolling the dice on fourth downs.
Call it slavish devotion to the analytics of sport, but they have passed up field goals in record fashion to back in their skill players as they march down the field.
A season that could go in any direction, a party to end all parties to celebrate an easing pandemic, and a bucket-list item ticked off for many.
Need any more mouth-watering reasons to get to Los Angeles in February?